Are You Her Beta Orbiter? Here’s 5 Signs She May Be Using You…

By Jon Anthony

Posted 2 years agoDATING

What if I told you that you may be a girl’s beta orbiter right now, and you don’t even realize it? How would you react?
Are You Her Beta Orbiter? Here's 5 Signs She May Be Using You..

Most guys would get upset and would have a hard time believing it. But, the truth is that, unfortunately, tons of guys end up as beta orbiters.

A beta orbiter is a guy that women keep around solely for the sake of validation and attention. In other words, they use him.

So, if you suspect that you may be her beta orbiter, then you need to read this article for your own sake.

What’s A Beta Orbiter?

A beta orbiter is a guy that women keep around to get extra attention and validation when they need it. In fact, we’ve all probably been a beta orbiter at some point in our lives, especially with online dating.

Now, tell me if the following has ever happened to you…

You like a girl, and text her all the time. You give her tons of compliments, tons of attention, and you respond to her texts immediately.

But, every time you try to hang out with her, she somehow has an excuse why she can’t see you. It never seems to happen.

That, my friend is a beta orbiter… and it’s something that’s happened to every single one of us before. Why do women do this? It’s simple.

They want attention. Of course, it’s not every woman out there, but it’s enough that you should probably look out for it in your life.

5 Signs You’re Her Beta Orbiter

Now that you understand what a beta orbiter is, you should probably learn some of the signs to watch out for.

As you read this list, you’ll probably be shocked at how many women have been using you as an orbiter, to get some extra attention on the side.

  1. She talks about other men to you
  2. She’s hot and cold
  3. You always text her first
  4. She never ends up alone with you
  5. She’s extremely flaky

Now, let’s dive in a little bit deeper for each one.

1. She Talks About Other Men

If she’s always talking about other men, it’s most likely because she’s using you for emotional support and validation.

…and while this is certainly not always a bad thing, if you’re expecting to get laid, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree.

Of course, it’s normal to talk about your social life with women, and vice versa. But if you feel like it’s dominating the conversation, you may just be her beta orbiter.

2. She’s Hot and Cold

One of the biggest signs that you’re her beta orbiter, is that she’s extremely hot and cold. She responds back very quickly all of a sudden, and then once she gets the validation she wants, she goes cold.

The best way to combat this is to never over-validate a woman. Give her credit where credit is due, and don’t over-shower her with unnecessary compliments like 99% of men do.

3. You Always Text Her First

During the beginning stages of a relationship, it’s normal for the man to put in the most work. As it evolves however, it should end up being 50/50.

If you’ve known her for over a month and she’s never texting you first, it’s probably because she’s using you for attention.

Sorry to break it to you, but if you’ve known her for over a month, and she NEVER texts you first, she’s just not that interested in you.

4. You Never End Up Alone

If you’re constantly trying to end up alone with her, so you can seal the deal, but you never actually DO end up alone, you’re probably her beta orbiter.

Women know that if you’re both alone together, there’s a chance that something sexual could happen. So, if she’s just using you for attention, there’s a good chance she’ll never be alone with you.

If you find that you can’t stop thinking about her, start building your own lifestyle so you can get over your oneitis for her.

5. She’s Very Flaky

If a woman is sexually attracted to you, she will make an effort to hang out with you… period. If she’s not, she’ll avoid it at all costs.

This is similar to the fourth sign you’re her beta orbiter, but it’s slightly different. This is when she always makes plans, but flakes last minute.

When a girl flakes on you more than once or twice, it’s best if you cut off all contact until she initiates further.

If you continue to chase her, despite the fact that she’s wasted your time on multiple occasions, it displays neediness and is very unattractive.


All in all, most men are unaware of being a girl’s beta orbiter. They go through life without ever realizing they’re being used for attention.

I’m not trying to make you paranoid, either. There’s plenty of great women who will love you for who you are, and who won’t string you along.

But, unfortunately, sometimes a few bad apples can leave a sour taste in your mouth, so it’s paramount that you learn to recognize this stuff.

If you’re starting to notice a lot of these signs, it’s most likely because you’re her beta orbiter… so cut her out, and focus on your own life!

About the author Jon Anthony

Jon Anthony is a blogger, lifestyle coach, dating expert, and fitness model, who enjoys helping men evolve into their best selves. You can read his blog at Masculine Development for free.