How to Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men

By Jon Anthony

Posted 4 years agoSEX

Everyone wants to get laid. Whether you’re a young man in college, or a 50-year-old man fresh out of a divorce, it’s a question that all men ask: “How do I get laid?”

Well, to be honest, it’s often not that simple. The first thing you need to ask yourself is, why do you want to get laid? Do you want to establish a better, long-term relationship? Or do you want to play the field for a while, before settling down? That’s how I see it – …not that simple.

Either way, we’ve got you covered. In this article, I’m going to lay down the basics of meeting, attracting, and seducing women – in a way that benefits both you, and her.

How to Get Laid: Before We Begin…

The first question you need to ask yourself, is why do you want to get laid? I mean, obviously, it feels great to have sex… but what’s your longer-term goal?

A trap I often see pickup artists fall into, is they use meaningless sex to feed their ego… and while this is certainly an important phase that men typically go through in high school, it’s important to mature past this and focus on the long term.

Before I teach you how to get laid, it’s important that you ask yourself this question, to avoid any sort of miscommunication or conflict with the women you intend on sleeping with.

…but, if you’ve already got that question answered for yourself, then let’s get to it.

The “Framework” to Get Laid

Generally speaking, there’s a lot of different ways to get laid. You can meet a girl, have instant chemistry, and sleep with her that night. You can turn a long-time friend, into a longer-time lover. You can court a girl, date her for a few weeks, and create something meaningful with her.

But regardless of the way you want to get laid, it really all comes down to a simple framework.

Think of your sex life as a business. Every business has a sales funnel, which looks like this:

  1. Lead Acquisition
  2. Lead Conversion
  3. Lead Retention

To put this into dating terms, it would be something like the following:

  1. Meeting Women
  2. Sleeping With Women
  3. Developing Relationships With Women

You can’t skip any of these steps, unfortunately, because that’s just how people work. In this article, I’ll lay out the nitty-gritty details of getting laid, but you need to understand this model first.

Lots of my clients want a girlfriend, and want to know how to get laid… but then when I ask them how they’re meeting women, they tell me that they’re not.

The most important step if you want to get laid, is to actually meet women in the first place. If you aren’t even meeting any women, how do you ever plan on sleeping with them?

It’s also important to ensure you’re both looking for the same thing. Some girls are only looking for a one-night-stand, and that’s fine. Some girls are looking for something more, and that’s fine, too. Try to ensure that you’re BOTH looking for the same thing, so everyone’s happy.

If I had to give you one “secret” to getting laid, it’s this… learn to create a romantic situation with a woman, where it’s “win-win,” or where you’re both gaining something from it.

Like I said… one of the biggest pitfalls I see pickup artists fall into, is they turn into complete sociopaths who churn and burn women, leaving a wake of devastation behind them.

This is not what this article is about. Yes, this article will teach you how to get laid, but the focus is where you want to go in the long term. So, with that in mind, let’s get to it.

Preparation: Optimize Your “Product”

To use the business analogy once more, think of yourself as the “product.” You are the man that you’re trying to “sell her” on. In other words, the impetus is on you to convince her that you’re a worthy mate.

Many MGTOW followers and PUA’s get angry at this, but fundamentally, it’s just biology. In every single species across the planet, one thing is clear: sperm is abundant, eggs are scarce.

This is why you always see males competing with one another, to be the “alpha male.” Some of it is ego-jockeying, but some of it is for good reason.

Women are naturally attracted to the men who ascend to the top of the social hierarchy, because it shows confidence, competence, and ambition.

These three traits are crucial for attracting women, and we’ve already written ample articles on inner game, here at Get A Wingman.

In addition to this, however, you must optimize your appearance. Yes, it’s shallow, but that’s just how things are. If you don’t present yourself well, it will be hard to get laid.

Focus on optimizing your appearance, and it will make women far more attracted to you.

When it comes down to your appearance, there are two main things to focus on:

  1. Looks (Grooming, Style, etc.)
  2. Style (Clothing, Cologne, etc.)

While learning to build muscle and get in great shape can take a while, it’s still recommended that you start doing this now (if you aren’t already). Your style can be fixed much faster.

Consider reading some of our previous articles on style, and going to a store such as Express or Zara’s to revamp your wardrobe on a budget.

Once you do this, it’s time to move on to the next section, and get down to the actual mechanics of meeting, attracting, and seducing women.

Step 1. Meeting Women

If you want to get laid, you need to meet women… obviously. Now, you can do this in a great number of different ways, but I recommend you utilize all of them.

Here are the four main ways you can meet women:

  1. Night Game (Clubs, Bars, etc.)
  2. Day Game (Malls, Coffee Shops, etc.)
  3. Online Dating (Tinder, Bumble, etc.)
  4. Social Circle (Through Friends, Colleagues, etc.)

Most guys will prefer a certain way to meet women in general, but it’s important that you at least try all of these ways out, to get a feel for what works best for you.

Night Game (Clubs, Bars, etc.)

If you’re trying to get laid fast, going out to night clubs and bars is probably the best place for you to do this. While not every girl here is looking for a one-night-stand, there are a lot more girls looking for that at a bar, than there are at the mall, or in your social circle.

As you go out, it’s good to learn some basic openers. There are six types of openers to keep in mind, when you’re trying to get laid:

  1. Opinion
  2. Compliment
  3. Functional
  4. Direct
  5. Introductory
  6. Observational

We won’t go too in-depth here for the openers, because we’ve written about this before… but the best opening lines for night clubs are usually opinion, direct, or observational.

Don’t get me wrong… compliments work very well sometimes if they’re genuine, and you can pull them off without seeming too needy. But for most guys, giving her a compliment can often come across as trying too hard.

If you have an honest compliment to give her, then, by all means do it, but don’t expect to “get laid” just because you told her she has a nice dress.

Personally, I recommend you use an observational opener. These typically work very well, because they don’t require a response on her end, and come across as non-needy.

They also spark her curiosity and seeing that a woman’s curiosity is one of the biggest attraction triggers out there, that’s definitely a good way to get laid.

Here are some common opinion openers I like to use:

  • “You look like a [insert alcohol type here] girl.”
  • “You seem like a Scorpio.”
  • “You look like the type of girl I’d love to marry, divorce, and take half your money.”

These are just some examples, and you can use whatever you want. Once you open her, keep talking and enjoying yourself. If there’s a connection, it will show within the first few minutes.

If you get “blown out,” that’s fine. Don’t take it personally. Just keep approaching, meeting new people, and having fun. Once you do find a girl you have chemistry with, however, be sure to look for Indicators of Interest, or IOI’s for short.

These are signs that she’s attracted to you. Here are some common IOI’s:

  • Deep Eye Contact
  • She Touches You
  • Plays With Her Hair
  • Giggles At Dumb Jokes
  • Shit Testing You
  • Self-Qualification

Most of these are pretty self-explanatory, except the shit tests and self-qualification. We’ve already written an article on shit tests, which I urge you to read.

As for the self-qualification, this is simply when she starts saying things about herself, as a way to “prove herself” to you. Say, for example, you tell her that you’re really into sports.

If she starts talking about her favorite sports teams, how she played sports in college, or whatever else, this is a good sign – it means she’s at least interested in you.

Once you start to get enough of these IOI’s, ask her to go outside and talk. It’s typically hard to hear inside of nightclubs, so most girls are willing to do this.

The important thing to remember is not to expect to get laid… and as paradoxical as this might seem, when women can tell you WANT to get laid, but don’t EXPECT it, they will love you for it.

Why? Because most guys WANT to get laid and NEED to get laid… so when they meet a man who is attracted to them but doesn’t put any pressure on them, it’s a huge relief.

From here, ask her if she wants to grab a drink at your place. If she says yes, then great. Look for more IOI’s, and if the mood is right, consider making your move in a calibrated way.

If not, try to get her number and ask to meet up later. This is where text game comes in. Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t want to go home with you – it’s never personal.

From here, just rinse, wash, and repeat, until you find a girl you really like. We’ll talk about what to do once this happens later in the article.

Day Game (Malls, Coffee Shops, etc.)

The principles of day game are the same as night game. Use a good opener, look for indicators of interest, and get her number, or invite her back to your place.

Personally, I think that the biggest strength of day game, is that most guys don’t do it. Most guys are afraid to approach women (read: approach anxiety), without a bit of liquid courage.

So, just the fact that you are willing to approach a girl during the day, shows a lot of confidence. This is a big turn on for women, in case you couldn’t tell.

Typically during the day, it’s better to get her number and ask to meet up later. Going home to a stranger’s house during the day is kind of weird, although it does happen.

Online Dating (Tinder, Bumble, etc.)

Online dating is a little bit strange… in the sense that it’s not very effective for most men, but if you know how to do it, you can have insane results.

If you know how to follow our Tinder script, you’ll have great results. I suggest you read that article because it’s filled with gems on how to get laid from tinder.

Getting laid on Tinder essentially comes down to the following:

  1. Design A Great Profile
  2. Use Great Openers
  3. Get Her Number
  4. Set Up A Date
  5. Make Your Move

The biggest thing to realize with online dating is that it’s a numbers game. Plenty of people don’t check their Tinder or Bumble very often, so you need to open a lot of girls.

Hell, that’s the case with women in general. It’s going to take a lot of practice, and a lot of rejection, before you actually get good at it, let alone find a girl you’re interested in.

Don’t get disheartened, though. It will take some time to master the “Art of Tinder,” so to speak, and as I said, a lot of it is a numbers game.

Social Circle (Through Friends, Colleagues, Etc.)

This is how most people get laid – through their social circle. In fact, getting laid through your social circle is a lot easier and faster than any of the above methods.

Why? Because the girls already know you. This means they’re already comfortable with you, so from there, it’s just a matter of not getting slotted in the dreaded friend zone.

The biggest key is to treat her like a human being. I know this sounds strange, but too many guys take a polarized approach to this.

Most guys put women up on a pedestal as if they’re these mythical creatures that are far out of your reach. Well, as the smash-hit “The 40-Year-Old Version,” says… “Never put the pussy on a pedestal.”

Some guys, however, take the completely opposite approach and treat women like objects. This isn’t attractive either, so if you can treat them like normal human beings, they’ll like it.

Start by inviting her out to a typical “date” such as a movie, or for drinks. From here, keep looking for IOI’s, and if she shows a lot of them, make your move.

Step 2. Sleeping With Women

Ah, here we are – the step that every guy has been looking for. How to get laid.

Well, if you line up the first step, funny enough, this step will come pretty naturally.

If you make an effort to meet a lot of girls, get good at screening for the ones who are actually interested in you, and looking for IOI’s, getting laid will be very easy.

The biggest tips I have for sleeping with women are as follows:

  1. Don’t EXPECT to Get Laid
  2. Give Her Great Sex

That’s it. If you can successfully do these two things, you will have a more abundant dating life than you ever thought possible. That being said, they’re not always easy.

Sometimes it’s easy for guys to fall into the mindset of expecting to get laid. You feel like you put in all this work, got rejected a bunch of times, and like you deserve it.

I get it. Sometimes it can be hard. But, as I’ve always said, the key to having a great sex life is to make your own life so fun, that you don’t really care if you get laid or not.

Lots of guys “expect” to get laid, which funny enough has the opposite effect. Women don’t want to sleep with you, because they feel pressured. They want to sleep with you as a choice, because they like you, and are attracted to you.

I know this sounds simple, but it’s one of the biggest mistakes I see guys making.

Paradoxically enough, if you can just WANT to sleep with her, but put ZERO pressure on her, she’ll come chasing after you, and might even end up trying to sleep with you.

In addition to this, always give her great sex. Keep in mind that EMOTIONS are the biggest turn on for women, so if you can make her FEEL during sex, in her mind, it will be great.

I won’t get too graphic, but here’s some great tips to blow her mind in bed:

  • Use Lots of Foreplay
  • Master The “DEVI” Method
  • Always Make Her Climax

If you can successfully use these three tips, you will give her better sex than 99% of guys.

The first thing is to use lots of foreplay. Most guys are so excited to get laid, that they completely skip out on this part. Read our article on the best sex tips, and thank me later.

Women need at least 10-15 minutes of foreplay to really get turned on, so definitely spend some time doing this. Trust me, the sex will be 10x better when she’s turned on and ready.

Here are some ways you can do foreplay:

  • Make Out
  • Touching/Squeezing
  • Cunnilingus
  • Body Kissing

Again, I don’t want to get too graphic here, but I suggest you read up all you can on these topic matters. The biggest thing, as always, is to take your time. Don’t feel rushed.

In addition to this, consider learning the “Sex God Method,” which you can remember using the handy little acronym “DEVI.” Here’s what it stands for:

  1. Dominance
  2. Emotions
  3. Variety
  4. Intensity

If you can master these four critical components of great sex, you will blow her mind. The first is dominance. You can read “50 Shades of Gray” to learn more about this.

No, that doesn’t necessarily mean bondage… but it means letting your inner “animal” out in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to know what you want in bed. This is a huge turn on for women.

Second, is the emotions. You should be engaging her emotions the entire time. The first step to doing this, is feeling the emotions yourself. If you feel passion and arousal, then simply by the nature of the “Law of State Transference,” she will feel it, too.

Variety is simple. Bang her in different locations, and in different positions. Don’t be afraid to switch things up if you want to. People in general like variety and new experience.

Lastly, is intensity. If you ever read 50 Shades of Gray (which I recommend you do), you’ll begin to notice that the “intensity” of Christian Gray is a huge turn on to readers.

There’s always comments about his “intense gaze” and how intense he is. Intensity is a turn on to women, because it makes her feel like she’s the only girl in his world.

Step 3. Developing Relationships With Women

Alright. So, you got what you want – you got laid. But now what? This is the question that more guys should be asking themselves. What do you want in the long term?

What you don’t want is to use and discard women. Again, this is a very common phenomenon in the pickup community, and while casual sex isn’t bad, it’s not good to disrespect people. If you just want a pussy, the easiest option is to buy a compact pocket pussy. But this option is not for everyone. For sure not for those who seek true intimacy. If you deal with a real person, make sure you connect with her mind, before your think about what is under her pants!

After you sleep with her, it’s good to stay in touch. If she doesn’t want to stay in touch, that’s fine too. Some people just want to have casual sex, and that’s completely alright.

Once you start to sleep around a bit though, you’ll notice that a few of the women might want to keep coming back for more. This is good, it means you’re becoming an attractive man.

After a certain point, they’ll start bringing up the topic of a relationship. This can come up in many different ways, but it’s usually a question such as: “So, what are we?”

If a girl asks you this question, she’s probably wanting to have a longer-term relationship with you.  Now is the time to ask yourself, would it be a win-win for the both of you?

If the answer is yes, then, by all means, enter into a relationship. It’s important to note that you should never engage in a relationship if you aren’t 100% convinced it’s good for both of you.

Learn how to date in college, if you’re in college, or learn how to date in the real world, if you are in fact, in the “real world” now.

Dating is something that will take time, and it’s an art that many men don’t begin to master until they’re well into their first (or second) marriage.

But learning to date a girl that you’re in a relationship with, and to keep the fire burning, is something that every man should learn how to do.

Summary: How to Get Laid

In conclusion, learning how to get laid is an essential skill that every man must-have.

Most men sit around thinking that their dream girl will magically fall into their lap somehow because it’s “meant to be.”

Unfortunately, this isn’t how the real world works. If you want something, you’ve got to go out there and get it for yourself – and the same applies to find a great girlfriend.

Before you get angry at the world, ask yourself: “Am I Good Boyfriend Material?” If not, then always work on yourself first. This is the highest leverage point you’ll have.

Once you’re a high-quality man however, women will be throwing themselves at you.

Why? Again, it’s simple – most men don’t take the time to improve themselves. So, if you’re one of the few men who actually do, you’ll surpass your peers in no time at all.

About the author Jon Anthony

Jon Anthony is a blogger, lifestyle coach, dating expert, and fitness model, who enjoys helping men evolve into their best selves. You can read his blog at Masculine Development for free.

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