How Women Feel Guys Out – The Secret To Attraction

By Alexander Pommett

Posted 4 years agoDATING

I have seen some glaring misconceptions in the dating in the modern times. Most of the advice is geared towards being the “charismatic type”. “Be the center of attention”.  The problem herein is some guys can’t pull this off due to one thing: they are introverted. Introverts are usually great listeners, prudent and observant. But how to make these qualities an asset in dating life?

You probably wouldn’t even notice if you bumped into them in the streets as they are often preoccupied in their own world. Being introverted doesn’t mean you have approach anxiety. In fact, I consider myself introverted and just don’t care for approaching a large group of people. Regardless of what the dating coaches say, I just don’t feel inspired to do so. And that’s fine!

What really matters is…

Women are experts at feeling you out

And what they want to feel is that you are a proactive, interesting man.

Being proactive simply means doing what INSPIRES you. I’m talking about doing what inspires you without having any self-limiting beliefs about not being able to achieve it. This is about YOU, not someone else. Finding and doing what truly inspires you makes you an inspiring and therefore attractive person.

Women are simply REACTING to you because they feel inspire by the passionate way you act. You don’t have to push yourself to become someone you are not. Just because someone advice you to do this or that, does not mean that you have to do it.

In fact, get rid of the world “have”. You don’t have to do anything. You can if you want to, but that’s IF you WANT to.

This is what being pro-active is all about. It is about making executive decisions in your life in REAL time. If you feel like making a really bold move to a girl, do it! However, you should allow her to have her own reaction. This leads to the second part.

Be non-reactive to people emotionally. Respect other people and allow them to say what they want, even if it is negative of some kind. You know that it has no bearing on you. They have no power to touch you if you don’t give it to them.

Dominance = Attraction

What I mean by dominance is being a strong, decisive and always a respectful person.

Women like men who are well balanced and self-aware of what and how they want. Just think a bit less and follow your instincts. Next time you’re in a conversation, be the proactive guy.

Women like men who are well balanced and self-aware of what and how they want. Just think a bit less and follow your instincts. Next time you’re in a conversation, be the proactive guy.

Talk about what YOU find interesting to talk about. The other guys in the group will try to bait you into being reactive to their frame, but you know better. Watch how people react to you and balance the conversation according to that. Steer the conversation back and forth between good emotions and bad emotions. The most important: have fun with it!

For me, when someone approaches me in conversation about something that has nothing to do with me, I just FLAT OUT ignore them. Actually, I don’t ignore them, I just give them a nod and a totally expressionless face and turn away. Guess what they do after this? They try to seek my APPROVAL!

They try to get me to validate them. After time, they start to SUCK UP to me! This is some powerful stuff if you practice it on a daily basis. Having the right frame of mind prevents you from being sucked into a stronger person’s reality. Whoever has the strongest reality owns the women, basically. This is like being able to see through the matrix of evolutionary psychology and it is probably more practical than anything that I have ever used.

Extroverts vs Introverts

  • Extroverts = Obvious charisma
  • Introverts = Mysterious charisma

Both have their place in women’s hearts. The problem with most dating advisors is that they try to come up with universal attractive qualities while walking back and forth between mystery and charismatic.

That is what style calls an “unnatural”. You get stuck in your cerebral brain if you try to be adapt to polar opposite personalities. But in the end, it just becomes a gimmick. And women can sense the incongruency.

Recognize which polar opposite you are. Some are in between. Sort of like a 6’9 center/forward in the NBA. But most are not. A quiet guy trying to approach a group of strangers is like a 6’1 point guard trying to dunk over people. Realize that no matter what personality type you are, it has it’s place in the world. Otherwise, your genes would not have survived millions of years of breeding.

Extroverted game: Center of attention, charismatic, charming, Alpha male attitude, Likes the sound of his own voice, social group leader, Mr Popular, Entertainer type, Good story teller, anything that is “high watted”.

Introverted game: Mysterious, suave, cool calm and collected, indifferent, challenge, confident, has control over emotions (doesn’t try to attention whore himself), romantic, sexy, reclusive, anything that is “laid back”.

If you try to mix the two personality types together, you get someone who will freak women out. One minute he is mysterious, the next minute, he is storytelling to a group of people. One minute, he’s being charismatic, the next minute, he’s being indifferent. It’s not congruent! And it’s not consistent! And last but not least, it looks like an obvious game! Women are smart. Who the hell do you think you’re fooling?

The Real Deal on Attraction

Here is the real deal on attraction. If you are an introvert, there is something very powerful that you can do without hanging yourself like a Christmas ornament. I got this from Tyler Durden. Be pro-active. Do things just because. Because you want to. Be totally non-reactive to people’s reactions towards you. Make bold moves and allow people to have their reactions without getting your ego involved. This will created an insane amount of attraction. This is what the other side of charisma looks like

Be proactive in your actions. Make bold moves. Be emotionally non-reactive to people. Allow people to feel however they want to feel about you. You don’t need their approval. Nor are you seeking it. You are demonstrating high value by this powerful frame of mind.

So the next time you are talking to a girl, ask yourself “What is the boldest move that I could possibly make without scaring her away?” Then do it, and allow her to have her reaction without trying to control it. This is the secret of the “naturals”. Do you ever see them get emotionally reactive to women? No.  No. They do BOLD things with absolutely no expectations of how they want the girl to react. They could care less.

About the author Alexander Pommett

Alexander Pommett is a dating and relationship expert who enjoys blogging. If you want to learn more about dating and attraction secrets then visit his site

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